You keep what you kill

On our way from Mossyrock to Vancouver BC we experienced the great American dream, traffic jams galore.  Great to see all those eco conscious Seattle hipsters taking their suvs for a drive to shop two vegan gluten-free potatoes. Or something like that. So we we were royally pissed off by the time we had passed Everett. One of the longest jams was caused by people gawking at the accident that had happened on the other side of the road. Great. So we were angry and hungry and really needed a toilet break, too. We got off at Mt Vernont and stopped at the Calico Cupboard Old Town Cafe and Bakery . I was skeptical at first, it's hidden away in a parking lot at the end of the road. So not a good starting position for this cafe,  but what a pleasant surprise. Wonderful location. Friendly staff, good service. And excellent food. Our mood was instantly transformed from grumpy and wanting to kill American hipster suv Nazis to extremely happy and well fed (and wanting to kill American hip...

Portland, I meant Portland, tobruk is just an anagram, right? So, we had a fabulous time in pdx. Great food, nice people. Our favorite hike was to twisted falls in the Columbia River gorge. It's crowded on the first two miles but empties out afterwards. And you can just knock people off the path and into the gorge if they're in your way, saves the American economy millions in health benefits and pensions. Favorite eating place was Harlow's. Across the road from our B&B, great food and drinks, nice people, good service. We loved their hot chocolate, the best I've had so far in the northwest. Dark chocolate and coconut milk. Nothing else. Yummy. We'll be missing you! Also very great is Kure juice just down the road, recommend the little wings smoothie. ☺

Today's our last day on Mt Rainier, we're heading back to Vancouver tomorrow. But what a beautiful day it is. Not a cloud in the sky, perfect mountain weather for a serious hike. ☺ Our lovely host made us some fresh juice before we took off, apples, carrots, lots of ginger, and lots of garlic. I feel so energized and hyperactive now, this is better than caffeine. Poor reisebegleitung.  😁 at least we don't need to fear the bears, because I'm sure I will repell them from miles away. Harharhar. Mt Rainier is nice, beautiful glacier views and waterfalls and forests and meadows all around. And if you walk for half an hour you get rid of most people as well. There's some nice steep trails here, too. We're based near Mossyrock, in a beautiful B&B in the middle of nowhere. Lovely people.

I really like Portland, Oregon. But I keep wondering - having seen for guys with led zeppelin t-shirts in the last two days, what is going on here? Some new disgusting hipster feature that has not been revealed in Europe yet? Two of those guys were really young, too, like early twenties. Je ne comprends rien. Apart from that, Portland is a nice place. Great food, nice outdoors, pretty relaxed vibe. And a great way to study the white middle class hypocrisy - all those super organic eco alternative people driving around in their oversized SUVs all day. Ain't it great.

This was actually the first time I've entered the USA, aka God's own country, via car. And I cannot recommend it. In addition to having to pay for the bloody esta, which you always have to have of course, we had to pay 6usd processing fee each. Just another example of how they like to rip off visitors. But hey, it all goes to charity or at least pays another overweight security cowboy's salary. So we are of course glad to contribute to that. And you have to appreciate the effort they're making, all the guys in armored tactical vests carrying big guns, walking around with so much swagger. Guarding the extremely dangerous Canadian border at Vancouver. I totally see the point, I bet there are incursions by armed terrorists and drug dealers multiple times a day from such a dangerous and unstable place like Canada. If it wasn't for the boys in blue, the USA would have long been overrun by hordes of beady eyed Canadians.

Last stop: Kauai. Took me a while to wrap this up since, funny enough, I can no longer use blogger in chrome. Embarassing that google is unable to make their own browser run their own blogging platform. Time to move to a different service I guess. Google has started to suck anyway, after enduring a captcha request everytime I was using the browser search bar I have switched all searches away from Google to Bing. At least they don't bother me with supid captchas. Fuck you google. But I'm digressing. Big time. I actually wanted to write about the part of Hawai'i I liked best: Kauai. Big time. First of all, the Reisebegleitung got to drive a big-ass car which made her very happy. :-) Although we were travelling in the low season, it was impossible to find any accommodation outside of hotels, which I found really strange, but what can you do? On the other hand, the Sheraton hotel in Poipu was giving rooms away on hotwire and so we ended up there. Money well spent, it's ...

Maui. Yeah. After the big disappointment of Big Island, I didn't really have high hopes for Maui. But it actually turned out to be a little bit better than the Big Island. A lot of the same problems apply though: Most of the nice beaches are ruined, the US has raped the land and built their resorts and gold courses. Shocking. Did I say that I despise golf? It's for boring farts only. Lowest level of humanity. I mean, was I was in the Navy, I never met anybody who played golf. That's just not what men do. I'm proud to serve my country whenever and wherever needed, all I ask in return is for the president to issue a law that requires golf players to wear pink skirts, sport bras, and clown masks at all time when on the lawn. Anyway. We spend one night in Lahaina, just for full immersion and to be able to fully appreciate all the great aspects of US culture. Piece of advice: Ignore the western part altogether. Nothing to see, nothing to do. We stayed at the Best Western P...

Ach ja - Hr. Kohl ist wieder so generös mit den 4-Buchstaben-Wörtern. So richtig furchtbar war es meistens nicht - irgendein Schätzchen hat sich meist gefunden. Treefrogs sind klitzeklein und übel laut - aber eigentlich angenehmes Hintergrundgeräusch. Berlin kann das schlimmer! Vom 4WD hängt nicht der Erfolg des Urlaubs ab, aber es ist einfach geil, einen zu haben. Neben der Strasse fahren, nur weil man es kann! Manchmal sind es halt die einfachen Dinge im Leben, die den Tag schön machen. Alternative ist der Mustang Convertible - passt der Koffer schlecht rein und für Automessis wie mich ist zu wenig Kramplatz! Bananabread, Papaya, Mango, Bananen, Ananas und ab und an ein dicker Burger; dabei die ganze Zeit schön warm - da kann man schon ganz gut klarkommen... Superschöne Sachen zum anziehen - abseits von Hawaiihemd und Hibiskusbikini - gibt es in Hilo bei Hilo-Surf und AlohaGrown. In diesem Sinne Aloha

Well, well, well. Looking back with a couple of days distance I must say that Hawai'i was underwhelming. It was nice, no doubt about that, bur I certainly won't be going there again and I think there are better places with less hassle and rules and regulations in the world. But anyway, let's try to wrap it up in a post. Flying into Hilo is niiiiice. On a clear day. You get beautiful views of valleys, forests, waterfalls, kinda like a very short scenic flight (provided you have a window seat on the right side of the plane). Domestic flights in HI are relatively easy going: our baggage arrived always very quickly and the car rental companies are just across the exit door from baggage claim. I had pre-booked our cars through NKT Travel and everything worked perfect - we got a good price, good, reliable car, no worries at all, so I can definitely recommend them. You don't really need a 4WD (unless you have a very specific use case planned). We rented a "mid-size...

kauaipoipupoHinterher ist man immer schlauer. If I had known what I know now I would have limited our stay on Big Island to four days and spent more time on Kauai. This is much more "hawaiish", much more to my liking. Gazillions of hiking trails and they are not closed because of "American Angst" or privatization. Nice! I just coined a new term here, "American Angst" and I'm gonna define that in a couple of days when I have  a decent keyboard again. So far, Kauai is the highlight of the trip. Koke'e State Park is great, as is the Waimea Canyon. And if you get up really early you can catch even a few minutes without clouds and rain. :-) Last day is coming up, more canyon hikes tomorrow morning, then a quick drive to the North shore, and then off back home in the evening. Can't wait to get back to work. Now wait a minute, that's entirely untrue. The good thing is, I'll be back Tuesday night, work on Wednesday, and then Thursday and ...

When I fought in Vietnam in the seventies, I really believed in freedom, democracy, and most importantly, our Nation. These days, looking at what our Great Nation has become makes me sad and angry. Lawyers, lawyers, lawyers everywhere, rules and regulations, taking away my freedom. Makes me really angry. Hulk angry. Hulk Smash! Harhar. Well. We finally managed to find a piece of the big island where you were actually allowed to leave your car and hike. Unbelievable, let's hope the lawyers don't find out. Waipi'o Valley, very, very beautiful! Hiking on Maui is a little bit better, Haleakela kicks ass. Looking forward to Kauai tomorrow. Still nearly no beaches though, best beach so far is Baldwin State Park in Paia. No resorts here. :-)

Can you believe it? After one week on Hawaii I have to say: it sucks. The weather is great, the landscape is beautiful in most parts, the fruits taste great, so why am I so pissed off? Well, it's even worse than Germany, everything is totally overregulated, everything is verboten, verboten, verboten because these sick and timid bastards are either worried about the LIABILITIES or are making sure that nobody crosses THEIR LAND. THEIR PROPERTY. No fucking trespassing. That's most important. So you can't hike anywhere. Fucking idiots. Fucking idiots. Fucking idiots. And the nice beaches? Forget it. We have not been able to get to any beach yet. It's all blocked by the ugly mega resorts. Fucking idiots. So we do what all Americans do: drive. Holiday in a fucking car. Get fat and die.

Well, what can  I say. This certainly is as much a sociological study as a vacation. We flew into Hilo on Saturday. Beautiful approach by plane. Baggage was there immediately and we went straight to the rental car counter across the street. If only all airports were so fast and relaxed. :-) I had booked a car through NKT, they got me a very good deal with Alamo, so definitely recommendable. We took off for Volcano Village straight away, a relatively short drive up the mountain. The vegetation is beautiful, as is the landscape most of the time - except for the patches where US civilization got involved. But more of that later. Volcano is tiny and we found very nice accommodation at the volcano Inn. Cheap, clean, in the rainforest. Spot on. Alas, the rainforest is not called rainforest for nothing, the clouds were so low we couldn't see much further than our own hand. So we had an excellent dinner instead at a place called Thai Thai. Really good, really spicy, authentic Thai, hard to...

Had a good night's rest in L.A., a very nice breakfast at the Daily Grill, very good service. :-) Now off to the airport again, two more flights and then we're in Hilo. Can't wait.

I'm about to check out of my hotel and leave one of the strangest (and sickest) places I've ever been to. Crazy. Can't say I'm sad to leave. Just the opposite. Vegas kinda confirms all the negative stereotypes a European has with regards to the US. And yes, I'm certainly the wrong person for this town. Nevermind, rest in piece, I'm outta here!

Woke up too early but am going to be rewarded with a spectacular sunrise view from my hotel bed. Thank you Westin for the 14th floor east-facing room! Too bad I didn't bring my camera.  Well, I'm only going to be here for a few hours anyway, off to Vegas later today for the MarkLogic Conference, where I will be presenting tomorrow. So finger crossed that my cold is really on the way out. Would you please die, stupid cold? Thank you very much. Have to wait another hour before Flour opens, so time for some blogging. Google really sucks at this, sometimes you can't log in because of "cookie" although they are turned on and I can't post any pictures lately into posts. So I'm probably going to take this elsewhere when I find the time. Hah, that was a good one. Hawaii is coming up fast - 11 days to go until I can finally do some decent helicopter surfing. ;-) Cheers from the East Coast!

Finally got around to finishing this. We drove from Mesa Verde to Monticello, Utah and again, there's nothing to complain about. This is really hard for us Germans, we are brought up to whinge and complain and moan and when we finally end up having a good time we are fucked because that's against our nature. So we start a genocide. No, I did not. The people of Monticello are way too nice for that. Very friendly and helpful staff and the info site and at the motel. We managed to get a room at the only non-chain motel in town and it was worth it. Nice pool. Next morning we took off really early because we wanted to hike into Canyonlands NP as early as possible. Half an hour out of town I realized I didn't have enough cash to pay the entrance fee. So we drove back to Monti, got some cash, and then off to Canyonlands only to find out that we needn't have bothered. Well, nevermind. What a beautiful, beautiful landscape. A-mazing. And harsh. We got lost in the desert and were...

Mesa Verde. You can read all about it in Wikipedia, so I'm not going to repeat the obvious. It's fascinating and really, really strange. First of all, it's a rather long drive until you've reached the area where all the action is. There is, of course, a visitor center and you can book a ranger guided tour. So we booked the tour that promised the most excitement in terms of climbing and crawling. But I guess it's all tailored to fat people. There was more safety talk and good advice than steps on the ladder ... . Nevermind, still worth it and I even got to play deputy ranger, yee-ha motherfucker.  I discovered another artifact - no, not Rommel, but Wooster!!! Much more friendly anyway. So we did a couple of hours of hiking and that's really nice, along the side of the cliffs and all, hot and sunny, nice desert flowers, interesting colours ... ... and lizards. I LOVE LIZARDS! Nature Red in Tooth and Claw:

Tell you what, it's totally hard to judge those distances in the sand dunes. And it's a nice workout, too - three steps back for every step you take. But all the sweat was worth something - I discovered a secret that's going to turn the world of historians upside down: Rommel lives - in Colorado! Here's the proof - old desert fox hiding in his flying saucer under one of those giant dunes ... :  Well, after unearthing this we were in desperate need of some refreshment and I can wholeheartedly recommend Milagros Coffeehouse in Alamosa . I had one of the best iced mochas ever and they had supertasty cinnamon rolls! Go Milagros! We had not really made up our minds how far we wanted to go west, but with all this lovely food and drink we decided to head straight to Mesa Verde. Turns out that the closest village is Mancos, just a couple of clicks from the NP entrance. The accommodation in the park itself was booked out. So we stayed at the Enchanted Mesa Motel , w...

We did get a pretty cool car. Thank you, Avis. They gave us a brandnew (2 miles on the meter) 2012 Subaru Outback. With Harman Kardon speakers. :-) Buena Vista was nice, right on the foot of the mountains, in the middle of nowhere. Good place to stretch your legs. We stayed for two nights, then got up early and drove south to Great Sand Dunes NP. We stopped by San Luis lake, beautiful panorama but also gazillions of bloodthirsty bugs. You couldn't get out of the car, they would have sucked you dry within seconds. So sand dunes it was. Really strange - you have these giant sand dunes in front of snow capped mountains. But it was absolutely worth it, beautiful scenery and a nice workout. We hiked up the highest dune and I can now totally relate to all those stories of people getting lost in the desert etc. You totally underestimate distances and gradients. And it doesn't really help that you are sinking/slinding back two steps for every step you take. But I liked that. Would be...