Posts

Showing posts from May, 2012

Where's your birth certificate?

We are near the end of our vacation here in the US of A. Currently hanging out in the Admiral's Club Lounge at Denver airport and waiting for our flight. We got a complimentary upgrade to business class, which is very nice of British Airways. Thank You! Now, the past two weeks were really great. I will post a detailed report on the weekend, along with some great photos. We started out in Denver, moved on to Buena Vista, the Great Sand Dunes NP, Mancos/Mesa Verde, Monticello/Canyonlands, Moab/Arches, Montrose/Black Canyon, Glenwood Springs, Rocky Mountain National Park and finished our trip in style, in Boulder. If I had to chose one city to live in in the US, Boulder would be a very likely candidate. Great weather all of the time, no serious injuries. We only got lost in the desert once. :-) I killed five rattlesnakes with my psychic powers and subdued one black bear with a mata leao. Another black bear ran away when I told him that I had a BJJ blue belt, hahaha. The only anima...

Obesity

Obesity. Somehow that's the word that comes to my mind most frequently as we travel through Colorado and Utah. And I read somewhere that Colorado it's supposed to be the «fittest» state ... . Well, amazing. You really have to get up between five and six in the morning, otherwise the trails are no fun and completely overrun. Not that most people would get very far because they are ill equipped and unfit, but they make enough nose to chase all the wildlife away. And most people round here don't seem to know the basic hiking etiquette as well. But it's still great fun, we get up early, enjoy the hikes and views and relax. Another strange thing are the tall ratings. We've done a couple of trails rated 'strenuous' but really don't know for whom they would be strenuous. My grandmother perhaps. But then again, every trail where you have to walk more than hundred yards is strenuous if you weigh four hundred pounds, which is the estimated average weight. We hiked...

Bear wrestling galore

Today I've wrestled a black bear to the ground and cooked him out. It was tough but I was too strong for the beast in the end.the bear attacked us out of nowhere so the kill was in self defense, I hope I'm not getting into any trouble with the rangers. Yesterday I defeated three rattlesnakes by chopping their heads off with my supreme and extremely secret wing tsun chops. It's a hard knock life out here in the wilderness but really really beautiful. Blogging with a tablet really sucks though so I guess I will provide a more detailed report once I've got access to a proper keyboard.

Urlaub! Holiday!

Yes. Finally. Colorado, here we come! Stay tuned for hot pics of sexy mountain lions, me wrestling grizzlies to the ground etc. etc. Maybe even surfing, harhar.

Herr Herzog, geh sterben

Ich interessiere mich ja nicht für Politik, weil ich lieber Bier trinke und Fußball gucke. Und an das ganze Demokratiemärchen glaube ich auch schon nicht mehr, seit ich 16 bin. Aber ich wusste schon damals, in den goldenen 90ern, dass der Herzog ein Wanker ist. Und wie immer hatte ich recht. Großartige Idee, einfach die fünfprozenthürde anzuheben. "Hmm, wir kriegen nicht mehr genug Stimmen zusammen, dann eliminieren wir einfach die Konkurrenz, bis es wieder passt." Und die Umverteilung in Richtung Banken kann weitergehen. Herr Herzog, warum so schüchtern? Es gibt ausreichend Arbeitslose, die steckt man in eine schicke Uniform und lässt sie ein bisschen prügeln und morden, dann geht das schneller. So hat es doch schon das große Vorbild damals gemacht. Drecksfaschist, geh sterben.

Why Jack Bauer is a superhero

Having seen and experienced D.C. traffic firsthand now I really do believe that Jack Bauer is a superhero after all. Not even Optimus Prime could have covered the distances in the last season of 24 any faster. Other than that: Americans are strange creatures. ;-) But mostly harmless. ;-)) I was staying at "The W Washington D.C." hotel last week, which is right across the street from the White House. When I got back from the conference on Monday night I had to pass several secret service checkpoints to get into my room - I found out later that Monsieur Obama was holding two campaign events in the hotel. But I didn't see any hookers around. To give credit to the Secret Service guys professionality, they did not even blink when I asked them about where the girls are. They didn't smile either. *g* The hotel had a German guy on duty - tall, with one of those cables growing out of the ear - that felt totally like Die Hard, part two. But nobody got hurt I guess. Die Ko...