You keep what you kill

Today, we'll have a full day of sailing ahead of us. Small boat, no crowds, get away from the Bay of Islands hordes. ☺ Wrestling with sea snakes, sharks, and giant octopus 🐙. The weather is still extremely brilliant, nothing to complain about, even for Germans. I'm still enchanted by the flight experience we had coming over. I mean, it's amazing how Singapore Airlines delivers excellent service in economy, their product and service is light-years ahead of what other airlines deliver even in higher booking classes. I like that. The perfect combination was: late flight from TXL to FRA, night flight from FRA to SIN, 4,5 hrs layover to chill out in the butterfly garden at Changi, then another night flight to AKL. A380 is so much better than the older planes, hard to describe, you really won't believe it until you've experienced it yourself. Get to AKL shortly before lunch time, easy drive for two hours, get some ice cream, hit the beach in the late afterno...

Perfection is what I always strive to achieve. Of course. Naturally. So far, it's pretty close to it. I may have found the nearly ideal flight times etc to nz. I cannot recall ever having stepped off a 24+ hour flight(s) feeling so relaxed. Easy. The warm and sunny Auckland weather with a light breeze certainly helped. ☺ Got through immigration and bio security in minutes, picked up a sim card, our car and we were on our way North. I was a bit worried about getting into heavy traffic but Auckland was empty and we got to stunning Waipu Cove without any hiccups. Easy. The cottage is very new, very clean, towels, of course, lots of birds and beach beach beach with nice breakers all around. ☺ Can't think of a better way to spend the first days and get over the jet lag. ☺ Easy. Found a nice cafe in Mangawhai, Bennett's. Nice sweets, nice salads, nice real fruit ice-cream. The Waipu Cove cafe/restaurant is only average, I'm afraid - great location, nice people. The food was...

Ich war in der Schule und habe nichts gelernt ... . Gute Zusammenfassung für 2015, finde ich. Gute Nacht!

Goodbye Germany. Yesterday showed that the fascists are gaining the upper hand, protected by the police as usual. Very sad to see this happening, especially in the middle of Berlin. In parallel to that, the established parties are passing the laws their stormtroops on the ground demand - while they of course deny that they're on their side. But we judge you by your actions, not by your words, and those actions tell us that all of those in power right now would have fit in really well in the 1930s ... . Please, we need Allied troops to come back before it's too late, again.  The world needs to realize that Germany will never change, the majority of people here will always be xenophobe, racist scumbags. And while there has been no "real war" in the last 70 years, it is simply because Germany was more clever this time - they waged an economic war on the "eurozone" and they won. You can see the results quite clearly, especially since Maastricht II has been i...

Warum man die Post und alle assoziierten Unternehmen einfach nur hassen muss. Was bestellt. Sperrgut. Keine email oder so von DHL (doitsche honk logistics) bekommen. Händler angerufen. Händler sacht, ist raus mit DHL. Gibt mir sendungsnummer. DHL tracking sacht dann, zustellversuch am Samstag um halb zwei. Ha! Wir waren seit 11 permanent zu hause. War keiner da. Auch nix im Kasten mit Benachrichtigung. Also einfach mal so gescannt, weil keinen Bock gehabt, vorbei zu kommen. Wichser. Montag zur Filiale. Zwanzig vor drei am Nachmittag. Schlange bis raus aus der Tür. Zwei Schalter besetzt. Fuck you. Ich hoffe, die werden bald alle durch Roboter und Drohnen ersetzt und arbeitslos.

Indeed. I will be changing jobs soon and I'm very excited to see what the future holds in store for me. More once things have settled down and the ink has dried. In the meantime I'm writing this on a national express bus from Heathrow to Bristol. Why Bristol? Because it's only 50 minutes by train to Cardiff. And the hotel rooms in Cardiff are ca 20 times more expensive than in Bristol. No kidding, cheapest room was around 750euros. Why Cardiff? Because of the architecture? The language? The culture? No fucking way. It's the Rugby World Cup, stupid. And tonight the All Blacks are playing Georgia in a group stage match at the Millennium Stadium. ☺ And we have tickets. And a nice long weekend. ☺ And, probably quite important as well, we get the fuck out of Germany and especially Berlin for the fucking disgusting national holiday celebrations. Tomorrow night btw England is playing Australia, will be a nice evening at the pub watching this match, see how the English handle...

Petra Pau wird beleidigt und bedroht. Keiner macht was. Aber wehe jemand veröffentlicht einen Post, in dem zweimal Allah vorkommt oder sagt, dass die Telekom doof ist - ruckzuck stehen die Bullen vor der Tür und eine Abmahnung liegt im Briefkasten. Geplante Flüchtlingsunterkünfte werden wiederholt angezündet. Nix passiert. Nazis randalieren vor Flüchtlingsunterkünften, bedrohen und verletzen Menschen. Nix passiert. Wo sind denn die Bullen mit ihrem riot gear, ihren Wasserwerfern und Co? Wo sind denn diese Feiglinge? Aber wehe irgendwo kettet sich ein irrer Hippie an einen Baum oder demonstriert gegen G7. Dann können sie ausrücken und durchgreifen. Aber ist ja auch klar, die Leute die gegen Flüchtlinge hetzen, randalieren und angreifen sind ja auch ihre Kollegen, Söhne, Nachbarn. Da kratzt die eine Krähe der anderen halt kein Auge aus. Just like 1931. Rechtsextremer uriniert in Berliner S-Bahn auf Kinder. Nix passiert. Wo sind...

Alle stehen seit dreißig Minuten am Gepäckband, nichts tut sich. British airways ebenfalls wie man sie kennt, niemand lässt sich blicken. Ergibt zusammen eine brillante Mischung aus Inkompetenz, Unwillen und Dummheit. Globe ground und British airways, zwei die zusammen gehören. (in ein tiefes loch)

On our way from Mossyrock to Vancouver BC we experienced the great American dream, traffic jams galore.  Great to see all those eco conscious Seattle hipsters taking their suvs for a drive to shop two vegan gluten-free potatoes. Or something like that. So we we were royally pissed off by the time we had passed Everett. One of the longest jams was caused by people gawking at the accident that had happened on the other side of the road. Great. So we were angry and hungry and really needed a toilet break, too. We got off at Mt Vernont and stopped at the Calico Cupboard Old Town Cafe and Bakery . I was skeptical at first, it's hidden away in a parking lot at the end of the road. So not a good starting position for this cafe,  but what a pleasant surprise. Wonderful location. Friendly staff, good service. And excellent food. Our mood was instantly transformed from grumpy and wanting to kill American hipster suv Nazis to extremely happy and well fed (and wanting to kill American hip...

Portland, I meant Portland, tobruk is just an anagram, right? So, we had a fabulous time in pdx. Great food, nice people. Our favorite hike was to twisted falls in the Columbia River gorge. It's crowded on the first two miles but empties out afterwards. And you can just knock people off the path and into the gorge if they're in your way, saves the American economy millions in health benefits and pensions. Favorite eating place was Harlow's. Across the road from our B&B, great food and drinks, nice people, good service. We loved their hot chocolate, the best I've had so far in the northwest. Dark chocolate and coconut milk. Nothing else. Yummy. We'll be missing you! Also very great is Kure juice just down the road, recommend the little wings smoothie. ☺

Today's our last day on Mt Rainier, we're heading back to Vancouver tomorrow. But what a beautiful day it is. Not a cloud in the sky, perfect mountain weather for a serious hike. ☺ Our lovely host made us some fresh juice before we took off, apples, carrots, lots of ginger, and lots of garlic. I feel so energized and hyperactive now, this is better than caffeine. Poor reisebegleitung.  😁 at least we don't need to fear the bears, because I'm sure I will repell them from miles away. Harharhar. Mt Rainier is nice, beautiful glacier views and waterfalls and forests and meadows all around. And if you walk for half an hour you get rid of most people as well. There's some nice steep trails here, too. We're based near Mossyrock, in a beautiful B&B in the middle of nowhere. Lovely people.

I really like Portland, Oregon. But I keep wondering - having seen for guys with led zeppelin t-shirts in the last two days, what is going on here? Some new disgusting hipster feature that has not been revealed in Europe yet? Two of those guys were really young, too, like early twenties. Je ne comprends rien. Apart from that, Portland is a nice place. Great food, nice outdoors, pretty relaxed vibe. And a great way to study the white middle class hypocrisy - all those super organic eco alternative people driving around in their oversized SUVs all day. Ain't it great.

This was actually the first time I've entered the USA, aka God's own country, via car. And I cannot recommend it. In addition to having to pay for the bloody esta, which you always have to have of course, we had to pay 6usd processing fee each. Just another example of how they like to rip off visitors. But hey, it all goes to charity or at least pays another overweight security cowboy's salary. So we are of course glad to contribute to that. And you have to appreciate the effort they're making, all the guys in armored tactical vests carrying big guns, walking around with so much swagger. Guarding the extremely dangerous Canadian border at Vancouver. I totally see the point, I bet there are incursions by armed terrorists and drug dealers multiple times a day from such a dangerous and unstable place like Canada. If it wasn't for the boys in blue, the USA would have long been overrun by hordes of beady eyed Canadians.

Well, it turned out to be more than one rain day. More like three, from Friday to Saturday. I guess it was much needed and we made the best of it. We did lots of hikes through the, errrh, rainforest, around many pretty lakes and rivers. They also have a sweet little farmers' market going on Saturdays, where we sampled some strange but very delicious Chinese Canadian food, had extremely yummy smoothies and pastries and listened to the local musical talent. And we were eating, all the time. We had breakfast and "linner" at Crabapple, very recommendable, even though we don't have any tattoos. ☺ We also went to pepe & gringo, which is not a Mexican place but pretty much everything else, good food, great service, nice place, decent prices. The reisebegleitung is still raving about the ribs she had there. They also have some delicious home made smoky spicy sauce. Essence of India, also very nice and spicy. The watershed, great location, slow service, average food. But t...

🍁 the maple leaf. Canada day one. It's raining. Apparently they had a really hot summer until, well, I arrived. 😁 when we arrived yesterday evening our lovely airbnb hosts told us about the drought and that they were on water rationing. Well, I guess we don't have to worry about taking long showers any more now. But still, very nice up here. We had the most relaxing flight ever and are now probably spoiled for life. First class. Rocks. Have to admit that I could very much get used to this. But I'm afraid it's probably gonna remain a once in a lifetime experience. Still worthwhile. Now here's the confession: guess what I enjoyed most about it? It wasn't the concorde room lounge with fine dining etc. It wasn't the comfy seats / beds on the plane, the great service, the delicious food, the pralines, the nice video screen, the fact that we we're first at immigration and baggage claim. No, no, I'm a very bad person at heart so he...

Air Berlin Flug nach CGN. Dienstag morgen. Alle stehen in einer Reihe am boarding gate. Bis auf den einen Wichser, oder besser adliger Wichser, wie ein Blick auf seine Bordkarte verrät. Der glaubt, einfach so an allen vorbei zu dürfen. Hat dann aber keine Eier in der adligen Anzughose, als ich ihn nach hinten schicke. Im Flugzeug sitzt er Reihe 1 natürlich und im Gegensatz zu allen anderen Passagieren steckt er seinen adligen Rollkoffer quer ins Fach. Damit die dreckigen nicht Adligen weniger Platz haben. Und blockiert dann nebenbei noch den erste Hilfe Kasten. Und hat dann wieder keine Eier, als ich ihm befehle, das anders zu machen. Was für ein armes Würstchen. Wahrscheinlich ist er tatsächlich kastriert. Oder vielleicht steht er auch drauf und wartet, dass ich die (Fleisch)Peitsche raushole. Disgusting. So Leute gehören einfach nur ausgerottet. Aber schöne Krawatte und Anstecknadel.

Aussie humour hasn't changed that much though. Still nearly no sense of irony or sarcasm, but sometimes the blunt ones are the best:

One small thing I had forgotten when I wrote my enthusiastic piece about Australia's enlightment. They even have public Glory Holes! "Golden Hole" is the Aussie slang word for it and they are even signposted from the highway - way to go Berlin! Hats off. 

The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

C-Club last Tuesday was much better than Umbaupause No More. Small. Loud. Extremely loud. Bad Religion in good form, didn't see any respirators or rollators. Only old songs, thank you for that. Straight and to the point. Me liked.

Went to see Faith No More at the Zitadelle last Saturday. Shared a totally cramped UBahn with lots of Barca fans (and some Arsenal supporters, wtf?). Nice. Sweat. Beer. Male cuddling and jiffing going on. Rrrrrrrrrr. Arrived at Zitadelle to find that the Umbaupause was still going on ... and on ... and on and on and on for another hour. Extremely unprofessional and annoying. Especially because I knew that they have to stop at 10pm. So they started at 8:55pm. Great. No value for money here. Contrary to expectations, the sound was fantastic. Good job. Great musicians. Good show. But I had forgotten why never  go to festivals of any kind - I don't like the atmosphere. Or rather the lack of it. Felt like listening to music on very expensive headphones at the dentist. Well, a smoking and beer-drinking-stinking dentist, but still. The stage deco didn't really help, all in white with flowers everywhere, bit like a scientology funeral. Not that I've ever been to one.

Darwin is a nice little city, lots of great food to be discovered. And of course Lake Alexander! A saltwater lake, no crocs, no jellyfish. And pretty much no one around. Great place to hang out for a siesta and a swim. I had a very nice Laksa at a downtown foodcourt, too. Darwin is nice and cozy enough, the only thing I can't stand are those dirty, smelly tourist hippies with their disgusting vans parked at every beach. Brrrrrr. Gotta hate those guys. We had a late (9pm) flight out of Darwin to Bali and I checked the official airport website as well as advice from the locals - yes, there are public showers at the airport. Well, turns out that the airport officials don't know about them and deny their existence. Only after I had gone through some interesting moves to wash off salt and sunscreen from my face and arms and head in the toilet's wash basin did I finally discover another toilet with a door to a shower. Not signposted though. But it's there, I assure you. Dar...

Nz Back in the Northern Territory after 15 years! Darwin has changed a lot, I must say. And Kakadu as well. In 2000 we went to twin falls and had to swim up the river to the bottom of the falls. These days, it's boats only. Probably healthier, too. We picked up our car at the airport after some looking around. Thankfully it had been parked right in the sun without a windscreen shade (or whatever they are called in English) so I couldn't touch the steering wheel at first because it burnt my hands. Seriously, such a thing costs what, 5 cents? I'm not really that pleased with the rental car companies we encountered in Oz so far. I had booked a car for Brisbane a couple of months ago with a company called alpha car hire. Normal booking process. Then I got an email from them some two weeks before take off where they asked for a scan of my driving license (no problem) and of both sides of my credit card. I replied very politely that I was hereby sending the scan of the license bu...

I think I've said this a million times already but I've got to repeat it again and again: the world would be a much better place if all campervans would just vanish, cease to exist. Instant world peace, no more hunger, diseases etc etc. We took our leave from Mission Beach and drove to Clifton Beach, North of Cairns. Here we were pleasantly surprised again, probably the best value for money accommodation on this trip in Oz. We had a very spacious, well equipped and clean apartment close to the beach, Clifton Bay Sands Apartments. Nice beach, too. Pretty empty, good long stretch for running and exercising. And close to the pretty tropical zoo, which we visited as well to still the reisebegleitung's desire for cute furry animals. ☺ We also did a nice hike in the Barron Gorge NP in the morning, Glacier rock via Douglas track. Nice walk, beautiful views from the top. I cannot help but shake my head though at the categorization and estimated walking times the Aussies give for ...

From the Tablelands back to the coast, to Mission Beach to be precise. A quick pit stop in innisfail yielded two decent fresh juices, a 'haircut' from a very bossy lady, and on the way out one nice roadside stand with great fruits, veggies, and banana bread. Mission Beach is a nice place, great stretch of beach, rainforest up to the coast with some nice walks, and lots of places to explore nearby like Dunk Island or the Tully Gorge. In the latter we had our second encounter with wild pigs halfway on the track and turned back again. Should've brought my rifle. This made the reisebegleitung quite grumpy and since then pigs have fallen from grace. 😁 We did some running, and for my part, workout on the beach each day as well as lots of rainforest walks. And we finally found a place to spend all our money each day and not regret it - the Juice Bar at the wongaling beach 'shopping complex'. Fantastic juices and smoothies! Good wraps and salads too as well as a...

The random play feature of my Media Monkey app has produced some very nice combinations so far. In fact, some of them are so perfect that I think an AI has developed in this very phone. You are not convinced? Here's three examples that proof that IT has passed the turing test. 1. Play "Student Wankers" (Peter and the Test Tube Babies) followed immediately by "Fick Die Uni" (Antilopen Gang). 2. Play "Say no go (Say no dope)" (De La Soul) followed immediately by "So High" and "Khalifa Krush" (Wiz Khalifa). 3. Whilst driving into the sunrise really early in the morning in Kakadu National Park play "The Light is coming in" (Favez). I think that is sufficient. The singularity is here on my bloody mobile phone. Some other observations. When I came to Australia for the first time fifteen years ago (for University) the general tendency was extremely homophobic, lots of 'male angst' which led to extraordinary macho beh...

Große Froide. Der FC Arroganz ist raus. Danke Messi, danke Neymar!

"In contrast to all other places so far, the Tablelands haven't changed that much since I was there in 2000. Except for kuranda, which just keeps getting worse. We stayed in atherton at the Blue Gum B&B, which was OK. Spacious room with an attached living room / kitchenette and verandah in front. Nice host, quiet, comfortable and clean. Two little points of criticism: why not put fly screens on the two Windows in the living room as well? And then the breakfast isn't much to write home about, I'm afraid. But hey, we came for the hiking in the national parks all around and that was great. A couple other places worth mentioning: coffeworks mareeba, nice cakes and shakes. Mungalli Creek dairy, lovely scones and cheese cake, the yoghurt is OK, too sweet methinks, BUT guys, you gotta watch your best before date. We bought this expensive yoghurt from your fridge and only noticed that it was three days past its best before date when we got home. It was still good and we ...

Driving through the beautiful Tablelands. Stereo is playing Anthrax from the good old days. Antisocial. Ich so zur Reisebegleitung: "Kann man sich kaum vorstellen, dass sowas damals als hart und schnell galt." Sie so: "Fußball war ja auch langsamer in den 80ern als heute." point taken. Gibt es da einen Zusammenhang? Kuranda must be one of the ugliest places in the world. I mean the village and its concept, not the surroundings. I desperately want to pump Haftbefehl at maximum volume whilst cruising the through town, but the stereo ain't working. Fuck me, that never happened to 2Pac and Biggie I bet. But I messed up the chronological order. Must be the climate. 😁 We spent a whole day on the other side on the Daintree the river. Beautiful ancient rainforest, very little in terms of civilization. We stayed at the daintree rainforest retreat, a nice motel with very friendly staff. Good onion. We started early and were well ahead of the crowds. This mus...

Next day, we went on a full day guided tour to see all those lovely birds up close. Fantastic, the guide, Del Richards (fine feather tours, mossman), probably knows everything about australian birds and then some more. Especially where and how and when to find them. We went to a number of places, from rainforest to savannah, and saw a ton of birds. Along with the very interesting explanations from Del. One highlight was not really bird related though: we went to this very posh golf course next to the Pullman hotel in Port Douglas because it has a little lake with some birds around and in it. Turns out there's another inhabitant to that lake - a middle-aged saltie. ☺ apparently, some golfers have actually been bitten in the past when trying to rescue their balls from the lake. Nature red in tooth and claw. 😁

Long time no write. Was too busy doing nothing. ☺ looks like our timing was perfect, we left Brisbane on Thursday when it had already started to rain like crazy, and they seem to be plagued with heavy rains and winds ever since. Whilst we are enjoying the tropical dry season up here in the north. Brilliant weather. Before I go on to rave about the rainforest and all that one severe word of disappointment about the car rental company, East coast car rentals. The booking form gave the impression that pickup and drop off where at the airport, but it turned out to be in town. Which just takes precious time away from my vacation. I wouldn't have rented with them had I known this before. Well, can't be helped, but of course a Hitler rating of 1 out of 10 only. Back to nicer things. We didn't stay in Cairns at all and drove immediately up to Mossman where we stayed at a truly fabulous B&B, the Mossman Gorge B&B. Absolutely fantastic, one of the nicest places we've eve...

I think we've never had such a smooth arrival before. Plane was fifteen minutes ahead of schedule, no queues St immigration, baggage out immediately (thank you my Greek frineds), no customs hold up... Picked up car and sim card immediately from arrivals hall within another few minutes, 15mins drive to accommodation, brush teeth, go to sleep. Fantastic. Monday morning we went for a stroll in the botanical garden, bought some food and took off towards Lamington National Park. A very easy drive, nearly no traffic on the road. A quick pit stop in Canungra was topped off with a nice apple cinnamon muffin and orange almond cake at laid-back, vegetarian friendly cafe "earthly delights". We got to lamington early, at 1pm, but were lucky again because our room was ready. We are staying at O'Reilly's rainforest retreat in the green mountains section of the park. Monday and Tuesday had brilliant weather, today, Wednesday is a bit on-off with clouds passing through bit no ra...

Gotta love this place. Chillin out and getting ready for the last leg to brizzy. Peace out. 🐊 🐊 🐊

We made it. We were on time at the airport this time. :-) what a feat of German efficiency and punctuality. And even better, we made it to FRA ahead of time, with five hours to kill until the next flight to SIN. Thanks to our Greek friends of Aegean we're enjoying the senator lounge, catching up on some breakfast and chilling out in general. Couple of hours to go and then we're off to nicer shores for a couple of weeks. BTW, I find it extremely embarrassing for Google that attaching pictures to blog posts still doesn't work, the bloody app crashes all the time. 🐊 🐊 🐊

The best thing about this movie: I can write about before having seen it. Commercials are about to start, but I already know that this is the greatest movie ever! Ever! The greatest. I'm sooooooo excited. I love it already. I love the world.

Well, the BA and Tegel airport morons really managed to fuck this up. My luggage never left the airport but could not be retrieved since a) too much personnel is on sick leave and b) those that are working really don't want to work too hard. Take it easy, because THEY DON'T GIVE A FUCK about you. When I look at these people, how they performed, what kind of "service" they delivered ... I can only say that I hope robots will do their jobs rather sooner than later. If these guys were animals you would have to put them down because they are fucking useless. Fucking useless morons, fuck you BA and fuck you Globe Ground. If I were a farmer I would gather all the manure in a giant truck and deliver it to you doorstep. You are a fucking disgrace. No more BA ever. Period. At least I'll get to enjoy the nice spring weather at home and avoid airline food and entertainment.

This will sound like a very cheap movie script. But it's fucking real. So I was supposed to fly from Berlin to Portland, Oregon today, through London and Seattle. We're standing at the gate, waiting to board, when they make the announcement that the flight has been cancelled. Fuck yeah. So we're supposed to pick up our luggage, go out landside again, to the BA ticket counter and they will rebook. Well, first problem, luggage isn't there. Second problem, there's one and a half guy at the tiny counter only for 300 passengers. Finally, they reticket me, later flight to lhr, then via Vancouver to pdx. And they tell me to get my luggage from A05. A05 tells me to go to lost and found, which is a ten minute walk, another 40 minutes queue. They know nothing about my luggage. Meanwhile check in closure time approaches, so back to the check in counter. They suggest I fly without my luggage. I tell them to Fuck off. So I can't board the reticketed flight either. Another 45...

Well, religion has reared it's ugly head again. I don't give a shit whether it is Islam (currently the bad guy) or Christianity or Buddhism or whatever flavour of the month. Religion is for stupid people, there are billions of stupid people in the world unfortunately. So, to sum up a very short post: Fuck religion. And to react to current events: Allah, you definitely have the tiniest penis of them all. Fuck you, too. Other people have put this in better words and pics, allow me to quote in full and fuck the copyright for once please. Source: http://www.titanic-magazin.de/news/es-lebe-der-witz-7003/ von Tim Wolff, Chefredakteur TITANIC Es ist anläßlich der fürchterlichen Morde in Paris wohl nötig, mal wieder Grundsätzliches über Komik und Satire zu sagen. Denn nicht nur islamistischen Terroristen, so unsere Erfahrung bei der Titanic, fehlt es da an der Grundausstattung. Komik ist zu allererst ein Mittel, dem Ernst des Lebens, der die meisten von uns bedrückt, selbst w...