Fragments

The random play feature of my Media Monkey app has produced some very nice combinations so far. In fact, some of them are so perfect that I think an AI has developed in this very phone. You are not convinced? Here's three examples that proof that IT has passed the turing test.

1. Play "Student Wankers" (Peter and the Test Tube Babies) followed immediately by "Fick Die Uni" (Antilopen Gang).

2. Play "Say no go (Say no dope)" (De La Soul) followed immediately by "So High" and "Khalifa Krush" (Wiz Khalifa).

3. Whilst driving into the sunrise really early in the morning in Kakadu National Park play "The Light is coming in" (Favez).

I think that is sufficient. The singularity is here on my bloody mobile phone.

Some other observations. When I came to Australia for the first time fifteen years ago (for University) the general tendency was extremely homophobic, lots of 'male angst' which led to extraordinary macho behavior to (over)compensate for the tons of insecurities the Australian male is suffering from. I'm pleased to see that has changed quite a bit. These days, there are open displays of homosexuality even in rural areas. Mostly quite blunt, but that is the Australian style anyway. So there are 'Barra bars' or 'catch a barra' events everywhere, in public! Amazing, that is even more open than Berlin Schöneberg.

Some explanations for the non-initiated outsider to Australian slang:

1. 'Barra' is short (sic) for Barramundi and means 'penis'. (In true Aussie fashion the government has set the minimum size of Australian Barramundi to 55cm. That's what I call a landmark decision. And no wonder Ian Thorpe felt so uncomfortable in his budgie suit. 😁) So you don't need a very vivid imagination to conjure up images in your mind of what is going on at one of those 'Catch a barta' events ... .

2. Not all hope is lost for the heterosexual however. There is a place called 'Barramundi Gorge' and knowing that 'gorge' is a common euphemism for, ahem, 'cunt', it's no secret what's going on there. Also, many Australian females will tell you quite enthusiastically how much they love the taste of Barramundi.

3. Some more terms to adequately capture this semantic field. The beloved former convicts call the place Taste the butt cheeks, German 'Arschritze', a 'Creek'. There's a 'Salty Creek' and a 'Sandy Creek'. Again, unlike Cockney, straight and to the point (no pun intended), not much room for ambiguity here.

With that I'm closing my observations for today and wish a happy 'Barra competition' to the male part of the audience.

P.s.: 4. Don't ask what a Barra Burger is - that's when things get really disgusting.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Gandalf the Pedophile

Driving down south to Kerikeri was beautiful: we took the time to take the scenic coastal route, visiting gazillions of beautiful beaches and inlets. Bliss and joy. KK itself is very nice of course as well, real fruit icecream, need I say more. On a rainy Saturday afternoon we went to Ngawha hot springs, which rocks totally. Basic, ramshackle pools, or rather woodclad holes in the ground with different temperatures between very hot and scorching, after one hour you have a baby's skin again. Amazing. We stayed at the very nice and highly recommendable Kerikeri Farmhostel and the reisebegleitung greatly enjoyed the Kunekune pigs they keep. Before Xmas crazyness took over the whole place we left for Whangarei Heads and that's where the old pedowizard comes in. But more of that tomorrow, I have to and eat one of the best breakfasts of all times now. Just remember: always stay with your arse to the wall when meeting old man with grey beards and pointy hats.
Read more

Rain!

But warm. And not real rain. Just a drizzle. It's gonna clear up any minute. ANY MINUTE. I'm sure. Everybody's sure of that. Has been sure for the past three days. The only thing I'm sure of is that it will indeed clean up after we've left tomorrow and that the clouds will follow me to Napier. Because they too love me. I'm a raingod after all. Since I'm so incredibly butch and such a great manly bloke I did not let the rain keep me from exploring the mountain. Didn't go up to the top because that would have been stupid. The forest is truly amazing! Brings out all the hippie genes in me. But only for a millisecond. Gotta finish up now, have to clean my rifle and go rabbit and possum hunting. Kill a couple of God's creatures, just for fun.
Read more

Hawai'i, a résumé

Well, well, well. Looking back with a couple of days distance I must say that Hawai'i was underwhelming. It was nice, no doubt about that, bur I certainly won't be going there again and I think there are better places with less hassle and rules and regulations in the world. But anyway, let's try to wrap it up in a post. Flying into Hilo is niiiiice. On a clear day. You get beautiful views of valleys, forests, waterfalls, kinda like a very short scenic flight (provided you have a window seat on the right side of the plane). Domestic flights in HI are relatively easy going: our baggage arrived always very quickly and the car rental companies are just across the exit door from baggage claim. I had pre-booked our cars through NKT Travel and everything worked perfect - we got a good price, good, reliable car, no worries at all, so I can definitely recommend them. You don't really need a 4WD (unless you have a very specific use case planned). We rented a "mid-size...
Read more