Fragments

The random play feature of my Media Monkey app has produced some very nice combinations so far. In fact, some of them are so perfect that I think an AI has developed in this very phone. You are not convinced? Here's three examples that proof that IT has passed the turing test.

1. Play "Student Wankers" (Peter and the Test Tube Babies) followed immediately by "Fick Die Uni" (Antilopen Gang).

2. Play "Say no go (Say no dope)" (De La Soul) followed immediately by "So High" and "Khalifa Krush" (Wiz Khalifa).

3. Whilst driving into the sunrise really early in the morning in Kakadu National Park play "The Light is coming in" (Favez).

I think that is sufficient. The singularity is here on my bloody mobile phone.

Some other observations. When I came to Australia for the first time fifteen years ago (for University) the general tendency was extremely homophobic, lots of 'male angst' which led to extraordinary macho behavior to (over)compensate for the tons of insecurities the Australian male is suffering from. I'm pleased to see that has changed quite a bit. These days, there are open displays of homosexuality even in rural areas. Mostly quite blunt, but that is the Australian style anyway. So there are 'Barra bars' or 'catch a barra' events everywhere, in public! Amazing, that is even more open than Berlin Schöneberg.

Some explanations for the non-initiated outsider to Australian slang:

1. 'Barra' is short (sic) for Barramundi and means 'penis'. (In true Aussie fashion the government has set the minimum size of Australian Barramundi to 55cm. That's what I call a landmark decision. And no wonder Ian Thorpe felt so uncomfortable in his budgie suit. 😁) So you don't need a very vivid imagination to conjure up images in your mind of what is going on at one of those 'Catch a barta' events ... .

2. Not all hope is lost for the heterosexual however. There is a place called 'Barramundi Gorge' and knowing that 'gorge' is a common euphemism for, ahem, 'cunt', it's no secret what's going on there. Also, many Australian females will tell you quite enthusiastically how much they love the taste of Barramundi.

3. Some more terms to adequately capture this semantic field. The beloved former convicts call the place Taste the butt cheeks, German 'Arschritze', a 'Creek'. There's a 'Salty Creek' and a 'Sandy Creek'. Again, unlike Cockney, straight and to the point (no pun intended), not much room for ambiguity here.

With that I'm closing my observations for today and wish a happy 'Barra competition' to the male part of the audience.

P.s.: 4. Don't ask what a Barra Burger is - that's when things get really disgusting.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Effiziensteigerungen galore

In einem der Tagesspiegelberichte zum S-Bahn Spaß in Berlin findet sich folgender Kommentar des Users "rb", der es aber auch sowas von genau trifft, dass ich ihn einfach mal zitieren muss, ohne weitere eigene Worte: Wahrscheinlich ist da irgendwann mal eine Abordnung dynamischer Schlipsträger durch die Werkstatt gelaufen, wie "Spürhunde" unterwegs nach Einsparpotential. Einer der Büromenschen sieht die ausgewechselten Radsätze rumstehen, geht hin, klopft mit dem Finger dagegen und meint: "was, die wollen Sie schon verschrotten? Aber die sind doch noch gut! Bauen Sie die ruhig mal wieder drauf! Und hören Sie mir bloss mit diesem Technik-Blabla auf, das kann wirklich keiner mehr hören." Diese zündende Idee fand sich dann später in einer Excel-Tabelle namens "Umsetzung_Sparvorgabe_DB_Boersengang.xls" wieder (zusammen mit der ebenso phänomenalen Idee der Werkstattschliessungen), der geniale Radklopfer bekam eine Gehaltserhöhung und
Read more

Beauty is not always in the eye of the beholder

Image
 Especially since us nerds all know how dangerous Beholders can be. ;-) Ugly business, that. Some nice things: We watched "Magnus" this weekend and I was positively impressed! Trashy, in a good anarchic way. Give it a try, but it's probably not for kids. ;-) Very funny, though.  https://youtu.be/IdrP8hjXR5k Then. Also. We. Had. A. Few. Days. Of. Real. Snow. In Berlin. Last week. Who would have thought that I'd see this again before I die? Very happy. I liked last week's weather much better than this week's ... . The good thing about snow is: It looks pretty, feels good, and Wooster goes craaaaaazy. Schnappi, too, of course. It's the only snow crocodile in the world. And the most dangerous one in the Northern hemisphere.
Read more

Gandalf the Pedophile

Driving down south to Kerikeri was beautiful: we took the time to take the scenic coastal route, visiting gazillions of beautiful beaches and inlets. Bliss and joy. KK itself is very nice of course as well, real fruit icecream, need I say more. On a rainy Saturday afternoon we went to Ngawha hot springs, which rocks totally. Basic, ramshackle pools, or rather woodclad holes in the ground with different temperatures between very hot and scorching, after one hour you have a baby's skin again. Amazing. We stayed at the very nice and highly recommendable Kerikeri Farmhostel and the reisebegleitung greatly enjoyed the Kunekune pigs they keep. Before Xmas crazyness took over the whole place we left for Whangarei Heads and that's where the old pedowizard comes in. But more of that tomorrow, I have to and eat one of the best breakfasts of all times now. Just remember: always stay with your arse to the wall when meeting old man with grey beards and pointy hats.
Read more