You keep what you kill

Fancy that, holiday is almost over. Which is a bad thing of course. The only good thing about it is probably that i can get back to sleeping in my kryptonite crypt. If i'm not contained therein my body gives of a golden-bronze coloured glow during the night and the virgins and maidens can find no sleep. Apart from that, a few recommendations: selwyn grove, hairdresser and tobacconist, best headshave ever. Fusion, on george street, excellent lebanese food and drinks. Apart from that, shopping is pretty strenous for me because now even the saleswomen try to ask me out for a date. I love you all. -- Weblog: http://christiankohl.blogspot.com

I'll be posting pics of my sausage later on, so stay tuned. Another sunny day in Dunedin, 29 degrees and no cloud in the sky. Pretty unusual for this city actually. Been down to the beach twice today and I have some hot pics coming up from there as well. But first, my sausage: Early morning view from the top of the Hump Ridge, no sausages, but free porridge: Kea, with funny haircut and in flight: Bad breath? Sunset on St. Kilda beach, great time for surfing ... Sunset over Dunedin. That's it for today. One last thing. Went to the post office this morning and there it was - my driving fucking license. Unbelievable. I nearly fainted. I now finally have my license ... and we'll be returning the car tomorrow morning. Still a very good onion I think. We are staying at a place called Hogwartz, which is highly recommendable. Very charming (although a bit potterthemed) clean, two dogs, towels, and friendly hosts. Tomorrow we'll go hunting some rare animals and I'm gonna sho...

Was soll ich sagen; St.Clair rules! Der Tanmaster surft alle Locals an die Wand und wenn die Tide gerade mal nicht passend ist, dann werden Sensationsfotos von kleinen braunen Piepern, auch LBB genannt - was das heißt, kann der Meister nachher erklären, gemacht. Die hosteleigenen Terrier - the grumpy and the friendly dog - haben ihn auch ins Herz geschlossen, also kurz: alles sensationell unwerfend wie immer. Eben hat er auchschon wieder geduscht - unfassbar!!!! Ich muss die falschen Wörter leider falsch lassen, aber der Gesamtinhalt scheint sich ja zu erschließen :o) Blöderweise published mein ansonsten kluges Telefon meine Posts unter Christians Namen .......

So lautet ein Poem von John Keats. Was das hiermit zu tun hat? Keine Ahnung, das ueberlasse ich der indistinctness der Sprache. An dieser Stelle eine klitzekleine Buchempfehlung. Ich lese gerade "What Good is the Arts?" von John Carey, das moechte ich mal dringend dringend allen ans Herz legen. Und direkt danach Intellectuals and the Masses. Vielleicht laesst das mal ein bisschen heisse Luft aus den aufgeblasenen eingebildeten Kulturkoepfen ... . Ich bin froh, dass ich nur ein dummer Fussballprolet bin und damit nix zu tun habe. Anyway, btt. From Wanaka to Manapouri. Manapouri is a tiny peaceful village right on the Lake of the same name and we stayed 3km out of the village, on the hill, at a backpackers called Freestone. Wonderful place. First night the hosts held a valentines day bbq to which we were invited ... Karaoke included. Jimmy gave us beautiful Kiwi renditions of mainly Elvis songs. Incredible and very funny. Next day Doubtful Sound cruise with Real Journeys. We ha...

A rather strange title for today's post, but you'll soon find out all about it. I first wanted to mention though that the crazy kiwis have now built a new monument for me. It's on the highway from auckland airport to city centre and of course entirely made of bronze. Though even this doesn't really do justice to my seamlessly tanned steelbody. But anyway, they built this monument and it shows me (of course) performing a hang ten on a shortie. Though i must say that longboards are ok too, don't wanna discriminate against the losers that ride 'em, haha. Today I went parasurfing, that is, you jump out of a plane with a parachute and your board, cut off the chute a few meters above sea level and then ride the waves. This is only for die-hard pros like me of course, I even flew the plane myself. Alabama! Where did that come from again? It's all Jen's fault ... . Alabama! Now, surely you've all been dying to learn the secret of tuffy tuffmaster and the wea...

die allwissende Reisebegleitung kann der Welt kundtun, das es sich beim unten unbekannten Strand um Tata-Beach handelt. Ansonsten bin ich auch kein Hippie-Freund, aber die Sandflies hasse ich mal so richtig. Ausgleichend gibt es putzuge Robben und einen meist nützlichen Herrn Kohl (Ich konnte ihn schon mehrfach zum Duschen bewegen - unfassbar!) Konnte den Süßen heute nur schwer wieder vom umarmten Baum wegbekommen. Klappt mit Möhren und Radieschen. Muss jetzt den Tanmaster ins Bett bringen - hat Angst alleine im Dunkeln.

Some people have - rightfully - wondered how that one foot swastika *and* the word "alabama" in letters six inches high can possibly fit on my chest. Well, I don't blame you. It is hard to believe but i'm so muscular and have obtained so many medals and honours that i had to grow an extra piece of chest. So that's that. Other aspects of the cult around my person are not so funny anymore. I can hardly move without security anymore. Where it before only the gorgeous beautiful women who wanted to touch the tanmaster's body the secret is now out and everybody wants a piece of me. Well, all the rumours are true of course. But just because i can heal most diseases by touch and babies grow up to be a thousand times more intelligent when i kiss them on the forehead that doesn't give the public the right to harass me. Too much sun, you say? We've been up the rob roy glacier valley today. Amazing views, good walk, perfect weather, and lots of funny and some furr...

I've now tattooed "Alabama" next to the swastika on mz chest. But apart from that, we're still sooo suuuper. We spent a couple of days on the WestCoast which is truly fantastic. Shame on me that I've ignored this part for so long. After three woderful days in Cape Foulwind, which by now really has earned it's name we drove down to Fox Glacier and then, on the next day, which is today, which makes a somewhat strange sentence,but it's not a tautology if you do not rule out time-travel a priori, well, then, today, we crossed the Southern Alps and are now based in Wanaka. Which is a lot like Queenstown, only much nicer and less crowded. I've promised some pictures, so here we go. How's that for a bedroom window view (Hopewell Backpackers)? And what about the sunset on Pohara beach? Dune aka Wharariki beach, although Isabella Rossellini was nowhere to be found, still pretty. Abel Tasman National Park, Mutton Cove: Sunset on forgot-the-name beach near ...

The original title of this post was Kill all Hippies. Das wollte ich mal gesagt haben. Ansonsten bin ich aber natuerlich positive and happy and that's why I changed it to my new name. Letzten Donnerstag in Picton angekommen nach vier fantastischen Tagen in Hopewell. Definitely top three of all stays in NZ. In Picton we went straight to the Post fucking Office but the driving license hadn't arrived yet. So I parked packs and girlfriend at the i/site and went to see the rental company guys to let them know that we cannot pick up the car ... . "Ah, driving-license is just a piece of paper. If you assure me that you have a valid German driving license, that's fine with me." Well, so they actually gave nme the car without a license. not too bad, eh? Credit card is actually more important to them. I then arranged for the letter to be forwarded to Wanaka, where we'll be in ten days time ... ich bin gespannt, ob das Ding dann angekommen ist. Ansonsten kriege ich wohl ...

Im stundenhotel in kuala lumpur (irgendwie muss ich die reise ja auch finanzieren) fiel mir naemlich ein, dass der fuehrer seinen schein vergessen hatte. Das fucking hotelpersonal hat meine kommunikationsversuche bestens sabotiert, aber am ende habe ich es jack bauer style geschafft, via smartphone und freiem flughafen wlan eine email nach berlin abzusetzen. Und christine hat es geschafft, das ding am samstag per superduperexpress postlageern nach picton zu schicken. Dafuer gibt es jeden tag schokoladenkuchen, alles was du willst! Alles wird gut. Dinner will be ready soon and i might just go outside and hug some trees. Just kidding. I'm still as angry as always and showing my hakenkreuztattoo on my brown chest to the natives. Tanmaster is back in town, mate. Love you all, schoene gruesse aus der sonne vom tan-a-holic! -- Weblog: http://christiankohl.blogspot.com

...continued ... One more change of boats and we finally landed at Hopewell Lodge. This very chsrming place has been hostel of the year seven times in the last eight years. And rightly so, i must add. Beautiful landscape, right on the sea, very friendly hosts, very good food, excellent homebaking, wonderful room, and, of course, towels. So i'm in paradise at last. Sun is shining, mike is preparing dinner, and i've even showered. Which is completely against my rules, but sometimes you have to give in to female's demands. Morgen geht es wieder auf das festland und wir sammeln das auto ein. Aber nur, wenn mein fuehrerschein im post office angekommen ist -- Weblog: http://christiankohl.blogspot.com

Damn computer swallowed half of my last post again . See if this works better. -- Weblog: http://christiankohl.blogspot.com

Somehow, the so-called smartphone swallowed my first blogpost, so here"s another trz from a landline. We made it. Sun is shining. Birds are singing. And no, I'm not hugging trees cuz I'm busy with the English kezboard lazout. fuck that. Yep, we had a nice trip so far and one that couldn't have worked in anz other coubntrz I reckon. Flight from Kuala Lumpur to Auckland was more than two hours late which seriously jeopardized our domestic connection to Wellington. But we made it - 50 minutes for getting out of the plane, picking up our luggage, clearing immigration, clearing biosecurity, teleporting to the domestic terminal. That's probably a new world record and was only possible because the immigration and security people understood our hurry and actually helped us. They'd probably shot us straight away in Frankfurt or London, or shipped us to some waterboarding resort in the US. But here, everything works out in the end. Got to Wellington. We were supposed t...