the cult of the tanmaster

Some people have - rightfully - wondered how that one foot swastika
*and* the word "alabama" in letters six inches high can possibly fit
on my chest. Well, I don't blame you. It is hard to believe but i'm so
muscular and have obtained so many medals and honours that i had to
grow an extra piece of chest. So that's that. Other aspects of the
cult around my person are not so funny anymore. I can hardly move
without security anymore. Where it before only the gorgeous beautiful
women who wanted to touch the tanmaster's body the secret is now out
and everybody wants a piece of me. Well, all the rumours are true of
course. But just because i can heal most diseases by touch and babies
grow up to be a thousand times more intelligent when i kiss them on
the forehead that doesn't give the public the right to harass me.
Too much sun, you say? We've been up the rob roy glacier valley today.
Amazing views, good walk, perfect weather, and lots of funny and some
furry animals.

The tanmaster is done for today and has to fend off another bunch of
virgins who want to sacrifice themselves for me ... . Life can be
pretty tough.

--
Weblog: http://christiankohl.blogspot.com

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Effiziensteigerungen galore

In einem der Tagesspiegelberichte zum S-Bahn Spaß in Berlin findet sich folgender Kommentar des Users "rb", der es aber auch sowas von genau trifft, dass ich ihn einfach mal zitieren muss, ohne weitere eigene Worte: Wahrscheinlich ist da irgendwann mal eine Abordnung dynamischer Schlipsträger durch die Werkstatt gelaufen, wie "Spürhunde" unterwegs nach Einsparpotential. Einer der Büromenschen sieht die ausgewechselten Radsätze rumstehen, geht hin, klopft mit dem Finger dagegen und meint: "was, die wollen Sie schon verschrotten? Aber die sind doch noch gut! Bauen Sie die ruhig mal wieder drauf! Und hören Sie mir bloss mit diesem Technik-Blabla auf, das kann wirklich keiner mehr hören." Diese zündende Idee fand sich dann später in einer Excel-Tabelle namens "Umsetzung_Sparvorgabe_DB_Boersengang.xls" wieder (zusammen mit der ebenso phänomenalen Idee der Werkstattschliessungen), der geniale Radklopfer bekam eine Gehaltserhöhung und
Read more

Beauty is not always in the eye of the beholder

Image
 Especially since us nerds all know how dangerous Beholders can be. ;-) Ugly business, that. Some nice things: We watched "Magnus" this weekend and I was positively impressed! Trashy, in a good anarchic way. Give it a try, but it's probably not for kids. ;-) Very funny, though.  https://youtu.be/IdrP8hjXR5k Then. Also. We. Had. A. Few. Days. Of. Real. Snow. In Berlin. Last week. Who would have thought that I'd see this again before I die? Very happy. I liked last week's weather much better than this week's ... . The good thing about snow is: It looks pretty, feels good, and Wooster goes craaaaaazy. Schnappi, too, of course. It's the only snow crocodile in the world. And the most dangerous one in the Northern hemisphere.
Read more

Gandalf the Pedophile

Driving down south to Kerikeri was beautiful: we took the time to take the scenic coastal route, visiting gazillions of beautiful beaches and inlets. Bliss and joy. KK itself is very nice of course as well, real fruit icecream, need I say more. On a rainy Saturday afternoon we went to Ngawha hot springs, which rocks totally. Basic, ramshackle pools, or rather woodclad holes in the ground with different temperatures between very hot and scorching, after one hour you have a baby's skin again. Amazing. We stayed at the very nice and highly recommendable Kerikeri Farmhostel and the reisebegleitung greatly enjoyed the Kunekune pigs they keep. Before Xmas crazyness took over the whole place we left for Whangarei Heads and that's where the old pedowizard comes in. But more of that tomorrow, I have to and eat one of the best breakfasts of all times now. Just remember: always stay with your arse to the wall when meeting old man with grey beards and pointy hats.
Read more